Most of my clients come into my office feeling defeated and rejected. They usually know that the behaviors they are doing are unhealthy. What they don’t know is WHY they do those behaviors. When this happens, I usually try to help them understand life through the eyes of a child.
Kids Have No Power
I’d like you to consider the following quotes from Geneen Roth:
“We make decisions based on our pain and the limited choices we had at the time.”
“As children we have no resources, no power to make choices about our situations. We need our families for food, shelter, and love or else we die. If we feel that the pain around us is too intense and we cannot leave or change it, we will shut it off. We will—and do—switch our pain to something less threatening; a compulsion.“
If compulsion is based upon our limited choices as children—or really any time in our life—then there’s good news. Finding new choices that are available NOW provides a new found sense of freedom and living.
Offering New Choices
As a counselor, one of my jobs is to offer new and healthier choices to my client. I get to show them that they actually can have some power and control in their life. They can do what they want and need to do and not what other people might need.
When you offer someone choices then they may not have to turn to the compulsive and self-destructive choices they have been making.
Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, in my opinion.
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